Christa Hann – Portrait Photographer

I used to watch a bit of Two & A Half Men before Charlie Sheen went crazy and got his ass fired. I don’t remember many episodes, but there was this one scene with Jake and Charlie driving somewhere and Charlie is telling Jake he needs to get his ducks in a row. Where the following conversation ensues…

I smile every time I think about this scene.  I always picture little ducks running around, their little duck bums wiggling as fast as possible as they run around refusing to be put in an organized row. All the while quacking their annoyance with the person who is trying to put them in a straight line, I mean, how dare they?!?

But I understand Jake’s confusion. There are days when all I want to do is get back on track, get organized and get my ducks in a row but those little buggers just refuse to listen. Life as of late has been ducks running wild with no chance of ever getting them in line. But amongst the chaos comes clarity.

You go quiet. You stop.

You simply quiet the noise, calm the racing heart, take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

You take a look around and see the humour in the craziness of it all. You realize that you don’t need to have the ducks in a row, you only have to be grateful that you have the ducks to begin with. Life is anything but neat and tidy and if you can only settle yourself first, then dealing with the ducks, one at a time isn’t such a daunting task.

I’ve been sick since last week, thought I was getting better and it all took a turn Monday night and somehow I’m sick all over again, but worseBoo-hoo for me. I don’t like being sick it keeps me from getting things done. But on top of that Jenna is sick too and all my time is taking care of her with myself coming second…not a pretty sight on a good day, let alone when I’m sick too. It also means I’m behind on my editing but I do have this little nugget that I want to share from Tonya & Cliff’s Jamaica wedding.

Happy Friday Thursday night my friends. Hopefully I’m on the mend by this weekend and can get back to some more editing and blog posts next week.

This week has been an interesting one to say the least. The kids started daycare on Monday which has resulted in morning meltdowns, headcolds, potty accidents, tears…lots of tears, sleepless nights and very early mornings to get the hang of this new routine.

Truth be told, I’m having as hard of a time as the kids adjusting to it all. I’m completely guilt stricken with them being cared for by people who are basically strangers, I’m not happy at all about the arm & a leg I’m paying the strangers to now raise my kids 10 hours a day, and somehow this whole concept of giving your kids over to other people seems twisted. I mean didn’t I have kids so I could raise them and enjoy them? Or be drove crazy by them? Depending on the day of course  

I keep telling myself, this too shall pass. It’s only for a season, before we know it summer will be over and they’ll be back home with Kristen.

I try to remind myself of the positives, the structure of the day, the fun activities they do, the new friends they’re making, especially for Jesse who is such a shy boy. But when he looks at me and says “Mom I missed you, I don’t want to come back here anymore…” Yeah, that part breaks my heart.

But like all things, we’ll get through this. I’m not the first parent to have their kids in daycare and feel what I’m feeling. Their kids turned out okay and I’m sure mine will too.

Okay enough of that stressful talk. On the flip side, the weather is getting warmer (I think summer is officially in the air), I downloaded my newest favourite app called A Beautiful Mess created by the bloggers of the same name. Basically you can add doodles and text to your photos before uploading them to Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Best $0.99 I’ve ever spent! I love it.

And this weekend in Canada is the Victora Day long weekend which means bbq’s, social gatherings and maybe even some backyard camping with Jesse (weather permitting…the nights are awfully cold) If you’re not following me on Instragram, be sure to get on that so you can see more images using the Beautiful Mess app and pics of our weekend adventures.

Happy Friday! And Happy long weekend!

We were relaxing on the loungers, beach side, under a straw umbrella hut, watching snorklers get excited about the colourful fish they’ve never seen in Canada. When a man wearing a uniform selling scuba adventures walked by with a piece of aloe vera plant.

He tells us he’s the “Sun Dcotor” to which my friend exclaimed, I needed you yesterday when I had my sunburn! The Sun Doctor proceeded to cut open the aloe plant and scrape the insides to make a soft gel in which he spread onto our friends arm. Our friend asked, do I rub it in? To which the Sun Doctor explained, no just let it be, that’s a misconception. It works best if you leave it like that.

He didn’t make the sale that he hoped to make with my friend, but I was thoroughly impressed by his hustle. You see, this “sun doctor” has a day job selling scuba diving adventures, however, he also knows the land, and its healing properties. He has taken this knowledge, he has seen a need amongst the silly Canadian tourists who don’t wear enough sunscreen and turned it into a money making opportunity.

So here are my thoughts….my downtime in Jamaica has made me realize I’m seeing the world through eyes of scarcity. I’m in fear of not enough. And yet, the “Sun Doctor” had an open mind to see opportunity where a closed minded person like myself may not have. I see that I am getting in my own way with small thinking, and putting limits on myself. I’m apparently being my own worst enemy from being more. This Sun Doctor didn’t see his day job as the only way to make an income. He decided to seize an opportunity to supplement his income. He didn’t say, oh I can’t afford this because my day job only pays that. He decided, if I want more I will find an opportunity to make more. Seems so simple really.

I find myself living with paranoia of loss. That fear of losing our most valuable “things” since we locked them in a safe in our room every day before heading to the beach. Yet, in world of enough, why should I fear loss? If someone actually stole our belongings, what would the worse case scenario be? I would simply go out and buy another thing to replace the old one.

I also found myself thinking more about relationships, connections and opening up to more of what the world has to offer. With an open heart to receive. With an open mind to see opportunity. This is a new thing for me as I didn’t realize how much anxiety I was putting on myself. It wasn’t until I took that week on vacation to let the anxiety go and, just be, that it would stir so much within me.

There’s a freedom that comes with letting go of fear and anxiety. There’s more beauty than ever when you allow your eyes to open up and actually see. And I’m liking this new vision, it excites me.

And with that, a week in Jamaica has come to a close. It was a great trip…but then again, when is a break from reality never great? I took this week to celebrate love with a wedding, but to also spend quality time with Kristen and to rest, ahhh…rest.

This past week, I had no stress, I didn’t worry (with the exception of the kids being at home, even though I knew they were in good hands) and I actually let my mind be free from all the things that bother me at home. It wasn’t until our last night there that the little everyday things started to come to mind and the reality of going home began to surface.

I truly feel like Kristen and I needed this trip. Some time away from the kids to be a couple, to hang out, to talk, and to simply enjoy each other’s company. Especially now with Kristen’s work season picking back up which includes extended periods away from home, it was a great way to prepare ourselves for the tougher summer ahead.

The other “goal” if you will, that I had for this trip was to rest. Yes I worked a couple of days but the remainder of the week, I rested. If I wanted to stay up late and sleep in,  I did. If I wanted to go to bed early and get up early, I did. I ate meals with the freedom to really taste and enjoy the food without feeling rushed away from the table to tackle the next “to do” item of the day. Every morning I sipped hot coffee at a snail’s pace. I lounged on the beach, I walked leisurely and not at the speed walking pace that I’m usually maintaining. I’ve had such a high paced job and lifestyle since last September that sleeping, being lazy and taking my time had become priority for last week. I’ve been having some physical side effects of pushing myself too much the last few months, and not once on this trip did I feel any of it. It’s made me realize that things I’ve been allowing myself to get worked up over, isn’t worth it. And that a break from those very things are not just a luxury but a necessity to my overall health.

Along with some beautiful wedding photos, I do have a few more blog posts on random thoughts that I had while vacationing, to come in the near future. But for now, I finish up with a few photos from our trip to Runaway Bay, Jamaica.

When Kristen & I took our first vacation to Cuba we took a self portrait on the plane.Since then we’ve always tried to take a similar photo, if not on the plane, at least on the bus ride to our destination. This photo was on the bus at the airport while waiting to leave Montego Bay to go to Runaway Bay.

We spent quite a bit of time in the lobby of the Gran Bahia Principe, these chandeliers were huge but beautiful.

Another self portrait. I’ve realized that we didn’t get one “sensible” photo of us. I’m pretty sure someone from the group has one, I’ll need to follow up on that and share it if it exists  

My handsome hubby…yeah…I’ll keep him.

Kristen should have been a fish. Or at least born with gills. The guy snorkels almost the whole time we’re close to the water. Those are my feet in the foreground. He snorkels, I take pics and relax. I also try to get a tan but being a ginger and all I only end up with freckles or a sunburn.

Like I said, I will be keeping him I like him a lot!!  He, he.

I don’t know why but I kind of like this photo Kristen took of me.

Another selfie of us. Please…no comments about how dark Kristen is and how white I am. Thank you And last but not least, rain! We had so much rain on this trip. I think we had rain 5 of the 8 days that we were on the island. This photo was our last morning there, at least it made it a little easier to leave knowing we weren’t leaving a hot sunny beach that day.
And that was our trip in a nutshell. I won’t try to bore you too much this week with Jamaica talk but just a warning that this week will probably be all Jamaica posts in some form. I apologize in advance.

Happy Monday, respect!